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Discography

by Johnny Edwards

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1.
I can't tell you how many times I sat and waited for you to finally come around to realize I'm whole-heartedly and madly in love with you. Each time I gave you up you turned and said you feel the same way. We were dancing perfect push & pull. We were always a quarter note off. Like orchestrated family photography we were scripted and destined to be this way.
2.
Frontal lobe, lack of control My existance white hot. Orbito, blue cold. My eyelids are dragging themselves down, pulling me underneath the sheets. I'll stop them. I'll focus. I'll regret. I'll forget. You know these days get blurry with heat. They bring humidity; seperate you and me. I'm sorry for things I never said. I'm sorry for impulsive things I always did. I'm so sorry
3.
She looked at me with eyes as deep as oceans yet brown like earth, cutting me so deep it hurt. I looked away surprised not knowing what to say. I had been calling, calling for her to turn this way. she couldn't hear me or chose not to. I fear I've become a ghost. Maybe it's both, I just don't know. I don't think I ever will. Maybe it's both. I don't know. I fear I've become a ghost.
4.
I got drunk and said I missed you, that I think about you all the time. And while I can't say that it isn't true I didn't know what to say when the next day you said you missed me too. I was no longer under the influence. I no longer had that liquid courage. So I said nothing back. You're reply seemed more like an obligation then a statement of how you really feel. Because I know you're doing fine without me and that's fine. I'd just rather not be without you.
5.
You packed up in cardboard boxes. You moved on, I've been so nervous since then. You went on to live your own life. I'm happy for you, but I'm not used to it. I'm used to seeing you everyday, laying in the grass smoking Camel cigarettes. I wish you the best. I don't know if things happen for a reason but I know they happen.
6.
I’d rather pull out my own teeth than accept I’m nothing. Every day I say that to myself my teeth lose meaning. But you serve as a reminder of how small I really am. And it leaves me questioning, should I be gnawing or gumming? If I don’t I’m a failure and a liar. And if I fail I won’t be able to bite my nails from nervousness.
7.
A blurred image of a man known only through stories I've been taught to hate, but if I had the choice I'd still do the same. You can't call yourself a father when you're still a child yourself. Am I growing up to be your mirror image, or your polar opposite? A lifetime of wondering what your face looks like. I'm not sure what I'd do if I ever saw it.
8.
I don't know why I still stick around cause you've got him and I've got well I don't know who I've got. But I guess that's why I'll still wait for those moments where your attention falls from him to me. or until something better comes my way. And if the latter time comes, then I won't be there for you when you need it. And I won't say I'm sorry cause you were only there for me. When he wasn't there for you. credits
9.
Oreo King 02:24
You're a thousand miles away and I can't help but feel that this distance isn't only physical. Do you still think about me? Because I don't think you do. I promise I'll send you you're things, as soon as my laziness and fear of losing you let me out of bed. But until then try to give me a reason to think once you have all you needed, you'll see me again.
10.
I stare at those postcards, the ones I've read a hundred times before. I've memorized them, from how you dot your I's, to how the S's curve. And with a match, the ones I use to light my cigarettes, I start burning them.

about

NDR-005

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released September 5, 2013

R.I.P.

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No Direction Records Denver, Colorado

D.I.Y. tape label since 2013. To purchase cassettes, attend a performance or contact the artist.

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